Love interrupted by tragedy. What would my life be like now?
I do know that I can handle it if it’s what You’ve allowed!
It is well with me, It is well with me. It is well with my soul.
My heart has been broken into pieces and I’ve had more than my share of my pain.
My heart has been broken into pieces and I’ve had more than my share of my pain.
Still, I believe that all things will work out for my good so while in my storm,
I’ll bodly proclaim that IT IS WELL WITH ME!!!
I trust you Lord, I believe you Lord, I rest in you Lord. It is well!
I trust you Lord, I believe you Lord, I rest in you Lord. It is well!
It may hurt some time Lord but I know
IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!!!
(link to the song)
These lyrics are from a song titled, “It is well” from Mary Mary’s Something Big album. These are more than just lyrics of a song. This is my life. I wish that it had come out in 2006 when I was living these lyrics but now when I sing them, I sing them victoriously instead of as a victim. For those of you who may not know, here is a brief testimony.
In 2006, I was engaged and on the day we planned to marry, my fiance was shot 6 times and murdered. I was devastated. Although I was helping make funeral arrangements, I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he was truly gone. I convinced myself that he went on vacation to take a breather but he was going to return home soon. I entered into a terrible depression, crying all day for days, sleeping in his clothes, not eating etc. I remember one day sitting in the room sobbing and I heard keys coming through the front door. I jumped up and scurried to the living room to find no one there. I had imagined it all. I woke up many nights to what I thought was him walking through my house. No matter where I went, there were always memories of him and I. I couldn't escape the memories in my mind. I couldn't tell what was reality and what was my imagination. I was losing my mind.
I don’t find it as a coincidence that just 2 days prior to this, I had given my life to Jesus Christ. I was
only 2 days into my faith and didn’t know Jesus to be a Keeper of my mind. I didn’t know him to be a Comforter nor a Provider but it was through this tragedy that He proved himself and His might to me. I was heart-broken after Shawn’s death especially after being confronted by a woman who told me about me, including my entire work schedule because when I was at work, he was with her. Not only was I grieving his loss, I was also dealing with betrayal, mistrust and neglect. If I would have heard these lyrics in 2006, I would have bitterly laughed that this hurt could not have been a part of God’s plan for my life. I would not have been able to proclaim that “all is well with my soul.” but now I can!
So what changed?
Although very tragic, Shawn’s death was necessary for me. Our relationship wasn’t healthy. It was
comprised of two incomplete people with trust and insecurity issues struggling to make a whole
relationship. I will not say that everything between us was bad because there were a lot of good times, however no matter how good the times were, we both lacked Jesus and without Jesus, we were both hell bound. I knew I needed to leave but I didn’t have the strength to leave and stay gone so God had to make the separation permanent. I’ve always had an awareness of God and the concept of heaven and hell but it was through the death of Shawn that I had come into relationship with Jesus. It was after his death that I learned who the Great I Am is and what He is capable to be.
I can now sing the song, “It is well with me” This was a part of God’s plan; every heartbreak, every
disappointment, every tear…. All a part of God’s plan.
God needs people to know that He is able to mend the broken-hearted. In order for a heart to be
mended, it has to first be broken. God needs people to know that He is a provider. I was only bringing
home $770.00 every 2 weeks from my job; my rent was $625 and my car note was $350 yet my son and I had everything we needed and never went hungry. God needs the world to know that He will never leave them nor forsake them so in order to understand this; you have to experience folks leaving you to know that He is still there. God needs those who are stressed and depressed to know that He can keep their mind at peace. I am honored that God would use me as his witness and that now I can say, “All is well with my soul”
Torn to Reborn Revelation:
I understand that not everyone is able to make this proclamation because not everyone is saved by the
grace of Jesus Christ. If you aren’t let me introduce Jesus Christ to you today. Romans 10:9 reads "If you acknowledge AND confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved. Once you make this confession, you are now born again into the kingdom of God and the benefits of salvation are available for you. No matter what you go through, know that all is well with your soul because it is all working together for your good.
