I was sitting here thinking about how much my life has changed in the last year and my imagination took over. I pictured a very long line, with many people waiting to be helped by the person at the window. I pictured there being many distractions to the right and to the left of the people standing in line but in order to be helped, you had to stay in line or you would have to go to the end of the line. I pictured myself at the end of the line doing the "pee-pee" dance because I had been standing in line so long that my natural bodily sensations were now responding to the wait. But again, if I got out of line, I would lose my spot.
This is a depiction of what has happened in my life in the last year. I petitioned God for so many things over these last few years and it seemed like everyone was in line before me. They all had their chance to be helped by the person standing at the window. There were so many distractions all around me that if I responded to them, I would have to start over and get to the back of the line. Even my natural bodily sensations began to tell of how much time had elapsed but I knew I couldn't get out of line. I can't lose my spot. Because I exercised patience, in ONE year, to the glory of God, my pay increased by $7.00, I became a homeowner and a geniune love has found me.
Isaiah 40:31
They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up their wings like an eagle and soar. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and never faint. Wait on the Lord, stay in line and dont lose your spot.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I thank you for salvation, for freedom, for liberty, favor, mercy and grace. I come on behalf of your servants who are in their season of waiting. No matter what it is that they are waiting for, I pray that their hearts will be fixed and their minds will be made up that YOU know what is best for them now and in their future. I pray that they, including myself, learn to trust YOU with everything that concerns us and more importantly trust the timing of YOUR blessings. Train us to be responsible stewards over what it is YOU will bring into our lives and help us to exercise wisdom and restraint so that we don't abuse or misuse the blessing YOU will give to us. We give YOU glory. We worship YOU because YOU are worthy to be worshipped. We honor YOU with our bodies and with our speech. We love YOU and we need YOU. We thank you for everything. In Jesus name. Amen
Monday, October 7, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Not My Will, but Your Will Lord
I am a thinker. I analyze a lot. I write down everything, grocery lists, projects for the house, even down to what bills to pay with the checks for the next 3 months. I’m always making plans. I will make a plan A, but I have to also make a plan B and C and a fallback plan just in case those don’t go as I planned. I like structure. I don’t operate well in chaos and although this may seem like an awesome trait to have, it sometimes wreaks havoc in my salvation.
Salvation is all about faith. Faith is “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1) If you think about it, we live our lives completely based on faith. Everyone believes in something. Whether you believe that when you sit in a chair, it will hold your weight or when you turn the ignition in your car, you have faith it will start and take you to your destination. We all believe something. The problem for me is sometimes my need for structure and planning and my faith are in war against one another. Let me share a recent event with you and you will see what I mean.
I work in the sales environment and during the month of May, a sales contest was held. For every policy sold we would earn a spin on this wheel. The wheel had different point value amounts ranging from 2,000 to 10,000. There was also this “sweepstakes” button that where if the wheel landed on it, your name would be entered into a weekly drawing. Now, the entire contest was electronic so it was “rigged” so that many of your spins would land on the sweepstakes value. The points were redeemable in this online catalog where the prizes ranged from 0-55,000 and of course the more points you had, the nicer and higher dollar amount prizes you could earn.
My first day of spinning, I earned 10,000. I was psyched. Either after the first day or maybe the second, I won up to 23,000 points. Since I am moving in my first home in less than 2 weeks, I ordered a cookware set and a hardware set. Throughout the month, I would earn more and more points and I worked my way up to 43,000 points. I decided for these next set of points, I would wait because I wanted to get something really nice. In the online catalog was the opportunity to order gift cards ranging in price from $25 to $100. You could order gas cards, visa check cards, restaurant gift cards0, Lowes gift cards and even Home Depot gift cards. I was hoping to max out my chances of getting as many gift cards as possible to help out with house expenses.
I have some people coming to my home to sow into my life and get the house to “Letrice style” and although they aren’t charging me anything for the work, I wanted to be a blessing to them as well. I thought to myself “I could sow into their lives with the gift cards” My house is sort of far from where these people live so blessing them with a gas card would be right on time. In order to get the amount I wanted to bless them with, I needed about 10,000 more points. We were coming into the last few days of the contest and I hadn’t gotten to the point value I needed just yet. This is when the it all changed.
I got to work Friday morning and I was like “ok God, I need 10,000 points today” I had 14 opportunities to spin. The first spin was a sweepstakes. The second was 2,000 points. It faked me out because the 2,000 points button was right next to the 10,000 points button and when it began to slow down, I became very anxious (fingers crossed, leg shaking and one eye closed, I don’t know what all that was about) The next couple of spins were sweepstakes. My 7th or 8th spin was 4,000 points and again the 4,000 points was right next to the 10,000 points. My co-worker was looking at me while I was having my conniption like “What is wrong with this girl?” I explained to him what I was trying to accomplish with my spins. My very next spin was 4,000 points but it was so close to the 10,000 button that it looked like it jumped to the 4,000 point. Feeling cheated, I was like “OMG!” I’m telling my co-worker than my latest spin was only 4,000 and I finished out the rest of my spins without landing on the 10,000 button. He asked me what points I earned today. “I said I got a 2,000, a 4,000 and another 4,000. He said ever so plainly “Letrice, THAT IS 10,000 points?” I stopped and counted it up and thought to myself “IT IS!”
At that very moment, I heard the spirit of the Lord say, “Just because I don’t answer your prayers in the way you expect doesn’t mean I don’t hear them and I’m not listening. If you only look for me in the way YOU expect me to come, YOU will miss out on so many blessings that I have for you” My eyes began to tear up because I know this is a struggle that I deal with daily. I’m always trying to think of God’s next move in my life instead of trusting that He has complete control over me and all that concerns me. I almost missed out on my house because it didn’t fit the “plan” of what I thought the Lord was going to bless me with. He constantly shows me that He is in control because I often have to erase, edit and sometimes discard all of my plans; however His plans are always better than my own.
Let us pray together.
Father we thank you for who you are; the Creator of this universe and every living thing in it. Lord, we desire to live our lives in ways pleasing to you. However, Lord we also know that you are the Supreme Ruler and You have already destined a plan for us. Help us now to seek you first and Your Righteousness so that all we desire will be added unto us. I pray that we will have a submissive spirit to your Will and to be able to discern your voice from that of the adversary. I pray that our spirits will be open to your leading so that we will walk into everything that you have for us. We love you God and we thank you for ALWAYS loving us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Be blessed
Salvation is all about faith. Faith is “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1) If you think about it, we live our lives completely based on faith. Everyone believes in something. Whether you believe that when you sit in a chair, it will hold your weight or when you turn the ignition in your car, you have faith it will start and take you to your destination. We all believe something. The problem for me is sometimes my need for structure and planning and my faith are in war against one another. Let me share a recent event with you and you will see what I mean.
I work in the sales environment and during the month of May, a sales contest was held. For every policy sold we would earn a spin on this wheel. The wheel had different point value amounts ranging from 2,000 to 10,000. There was also this “sweepstakes” button that where if the wheel landed on it, your name would be entered into a weekly drawing. Now, the entire contest was electronic so it was “rigged” so that many of your spins would land on the sweepstakes value. The points were redeemable in this online catalog where the prizes ranged from 0-55,000 and of course the more points you had, the nicer and higher dollar amount prizes you could earn.
My first day of spinning, I earned 10,000. I was psyched. Either after the first day or maybe the second, I won up to 23,000 points. Since I am moving in my first home in less than 2 weeks, I ordered a cookware set and a hardware set. Throughout the month, I would earn more and more points and I worked my way up to 43,000 points. I decided for these next set of points, I would wait because I wanted to get something really nice. In the online catalog was the opportunity to order gift cards ranging in price from $25 to $100. You could order gas cards, visa check cards, restaurant gift cards0, Lowes gift cards and even Home Depot gift cards. I was hoping to max out my chances of getting as many gift cards as possible to help out with house expenses.
I have some people coming to my home to sow into my life and get the house to “Letrice style” and although they aren’t charging me anything for the work, I wanted to be a blessing to them as well. I thought to myself “I could sow into their lives with the gift cards” My house is sort of far from where these people live so blessing them with a gas card would be right on time. In order to get the amount I wanted to bless them with, I needed about 10,000 more points. We were coming into the last few days of the contest and I hadn’t gotten to the point value I needed just yet. This is when the it all changed.
I got to work Friday morning and I was like “ok God, I need 10,000 points today” I had 14 opportunities to spin. The first spin was a sweepstakes. The second was 2,000 points. It faked me out because the 2,000 points button was right next to the 10,000 points button and when it began to slow down, I became very anxious (fingers crossed, leg shaking and one eye closed, I don’t know what all that was about) The next couple of spins were sweepstakes. My 7th or 8th spin was 4,000 points and again the 4,000 points was right next to the 10,000 points. My co-worker was looking at me while I was having my conniption like “What is wrong with this girl?” I explained to him what I was trying to accomplish with my spins. My very next spin was 4,000 points but it was so close to the 10,000 button that it looked like it jumped to the 4,000 point. Feeling cheated, I was like “OMG!” I’m telling my co-worker than my latest spin was only 4,000 and I finished out the rest of my spins without landing on the 10,000 button. He asked me what points I earned today. “I said I got a 2,000, a 4,000 and another 4,000. He said ever so plainly “Letrice, THAT IS 10,000 points?” I stopped and counted it up and thought to myself “IT IS!”
At that very moment, I heard the spirit of the Lord say, “Just because I don’t answer your prayers in the way you expect doesn’t mean I don’t hear them and I’m not listening. If you only look for me in the way YOU expect me to come, YOU will miss out on so many blessings that I have for you” My eyes began to tear up because I know this is a struggle that I deal with daily. I’m always trying to think of God’s next move in my life instead of trusting that He has complete control over me and all that concerns me. I almost missed out on my house because it didn’t fit the “plan” of what I thought the Lord was going to bless me with. He constantly shows me that He is in control because I often have to erase, edit and sometimes discard all of my plans; however His plans are always better than my own.
Let us pray together.
Father we thank you for who you are; the Creator of this universe and every living thing in it. Lord, we desire to live our lives in ways pleasing to you. However, Lord we also know that you are the Supreme Ruler and You have already destined a plan for us. Help us now to seek you first and Your Righteousness so that all we desire will be added unto us. I pray that we will have a submissive spirit to your Will and to be able to discern your voice from that of the adversary. I pray that our spirits will be open to your leading so that we will walk into everything that you have for us. We love you God and we thank you for ALWAYS loving us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Be blessed
Monday, May 27, 2013
Sex and Tears
Galatians 5:17 states "For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do" The later conversations re-affirmed the reality of this scripture because when talking to him more and more, I discerned that he knew practicing celibacy was best for his Spirit but he felt having sex was better for his flesh but before I could attach myself to this I needed to know which one ruled him? We discussed 1 Cor 6:12-20, 1 Cor 9:25-27, 2 Cor 5:17-18 and Hebrews 12 so that he would understand that celibacy is not something we just decide to do but something we are required to do once we profess Jesus Christ as our savior. He shared that he has talked to many women "in the church" who said they were celibate but at the first encounter, their clothes were off faster than his (this is another topic I will have to address in another blog) and that he could tell I was very serious about God and the last thing he wanted to be is someone that would put me in an uncomfortable position. I respected him for that.
Well the respect was lost yesterday. He sent me a very sexual text about how he felt at the very moment. I became immediately disrespected. I understood that it was going to be a struggle for him to be celibate BUT even if this is a feeling that your flesh was going through at the time, you should have never thought it was ok to send a message to a Woman of God like that when you clearly know I am different. This is when I made the decision to cut ties. At this point, it became obvious that his flesh is ruling over his Spirit and I will not compromise my relationship with God for that of man.
I have a heart for people. I always feel the need to help people but sometimes it really gets in the way. My co-worker says that I have a "let me fix you Spirit" Call it what you want but I never want to turn my back on anyone because they aren't delivered in a certain area of their lives but I have learned that I am not the One who does the changing. I have deposited seeds that I hope take root and bring forth a harvest of self control but self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and only God can change his heart. However, I must admit it was hard to let go because I really enjoyed him (and he was nice on the eyes lol) I caught myself feeling emotional (see picture above) feeling like because of my determination to please God with my obedience to His Word I wouldn't attract anyone my age because so many people my age are still in the world but I had to get OUT my feelings and IN to what I know:
Psalm 84:11 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. NO good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly"
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope"
Romans 8:8 "Those who are in the flesh cannot please God"
2 Timothy 2:22 "So flee youthful passions and purse righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
Here are my takeaways:
You should never compromise your beliefs to please man and not just man in gender but man as far as the species.
Although we live in a sex-crazed society, we are still called to live a life of abstinence or celibacy in our seasons of singleness and monogamous faithfulness in marriage.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord Psalm 27:14
Allow me to pray for you:
Almighty God, in the name of Jesus I thank you for this learning experience and for the many people who will read about it and be encouraged. I ask that you strengthen the hearts of all reading this blog and that something in it will take root and blossom into an abundant life of obedience. Father, I pray for those who are waiting for you to send their spouse, that they will be encouraged to keep waiting in good courage. I pray we become engulfed in Your love and understand how valuable we are to You. I pray that you will fill the longing in our hearts for companionship so that we will make better decisions. I pray that you help us not to settle for anything less than what you have for us. I pray that we will be obedient to your Word so that we may be found blameless and able to receive all the many blessings you have for us. Baptize us with your Spirit so that we may have the fruit of your Spirit. I love you Lord and You are indeed my everything. If there is someone who cannot testify to the same thing, I pray that you draw them nearer. Lastly Father, I pray for those who are engaging in sexual relations. I pray that you bring about a Spirit of conviction and repentance so that they may be cleansed from all impurities in Jesus name. God, you are indeed a keeper and I thank you for keeping me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen
Be blessed everyone and thanks for reading!
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